February 2012
57 posts
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless (1960)
I think that Jean-Luc Godard and Bob Dylan have had comparable - dare I say parellel? - careers. Both are creative geniuses who revolutionized their respective mediums with their first albums/film, changing the art forms forever, etcetera etcetera. Both rose to prominence at about the same time (early ’60s), and...
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WatchOLD-TIMEY CARTOONS
The Cat Came Back (1988)
This beloved cartoon by Winnipeg animator Cordell Barker is probably the most famous cartoon to come from the National Film Board of Canada. Leonard Maltin included it in his video, Leonard Maltin’s Animation Favorites From the National Film Board of Canada (say that 5 times fast), and if Leonard Maltin believes it, it has to be true.
Well,...
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Jackie Chan and Lau Kar-leung’s Drunken Master II (aka The Legend of Drunken Master) (1994)
The early ’90s saw a revival of the classical martial arts genre in the Hong Kong Film Industry - and, in particular, cinematic iterations of Chinese folk hero Wong Fei-hung, most notable in the Jet Li and Tsui Hark’s revisionist Once Upon a Time in...
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Another Moldy Article from the Archives
I met Channing Tatum once. Oh yes, it’s true. Feel free to form an orderly line to sleep with me.
This article was published in The Varsity in February 2010. This is the never-before-published Director’s Cut, about 100 words longer than the published version, with more meaningless minutiae about Channing Tatum’s body language than ever before. I kinda have a soft spot for this...
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Ray Dennis Steckler’s Blood Shack (1971) (aka The Chooper)
The singularly godawful director of such masterworks as Rat Pfink a Boo Boo and The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies shot this horror quickie in the Nevada desert for $500. The plot: a shack (you may even go so far as to call it a blood shack) is haunted...
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WatchIt’s time for another visit from WONDER EMPORIUM COMEDIAN-IN-RESIDENCE ANDY KAUFMAN. Tonight, Andy’s alter-ego Tony Clifton brings his brand of entertainment to The Muppet Show.
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It’s time for another exciting instalment of CRISWELL PREDICTS, wherein prominent 1950s/1960s L.A.-based psychic “The Amazing Criswell” offers a startling glimpse of future events that will after you… in the future! Predictions come from his 1968 book Criswell Predicts.
In today’s prediction, Criswell forsees an alarming development in Colorado!
“I predict that South...
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It’s time for another exciting instalment of DAVID LYNCH REPORTS THE WEATHER, wherein the visionary director of Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, and Mulholland Drive will inform you of how things are doing in Los Angeles, temperature-wise.
Today’s report comes from 10/07/2009.
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WatchTHE WONDER EMPORIUM DAWN-OF-CINEMA REVUE
The Lumière Brothers in Japan (1897)
In 1897, when the Lumière Brothers traveled to Japan to present their Cinematograph, they sent their cameramen to capture scenes of Japanese life. This fragment, shot by Constant Girel, depicts a Kendo tournament. The Lumière films are believed to be the first films shot in Japan.
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
W.C. Fields in The Bank Dick (1940)
W.C. Fields is literally my grandpa. I know you think I’m misusing the word “literally,” but I believe that Fields and the late Bill Woods occupied the same spirit. Here was a situation that played repeatedly between me and my grandpa:
Grandpa: Where the hell’s the paper?
Me: You’re sitting...
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Valentine’s Day edition - Charlie Chaplin’s City Lights (1931)
If I were asked to advise someone who had never seen a silent movie which one to watch first, I would unhesitatingly say City Lights. Chaplin’s best film (even if I feel The Gold Rush, Modern Times, and The Great Dictator breathing down my neck as I say that) and, if you ask me,...
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Another Moldy Article from the Archives
This one comes from one year ago today, from The Varsity’s Valentine’s Day Love and Sex issue. It came when we were offered a chance to interview “Ken,” Barbie’s boyfriend. Mattel requested that I not ask anything “snarky or disrespectful,” and I still insist I didn’t.
An Interview with Ken By Will Sloan
Sometimes an interview opportunity comes...
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It’s time for another exciting visit with WONDER EMPORIUM CELEBRITY-IN-RESIDENCE JACKIE CHAN, wherein the kung fu superstar will answer your questions about his action-packed life, and discuss the glitz and glamor of his fabulous celebrity lifestyle.
Today, Jackie thinks about the future.
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Another Moldy Article from the Archives
Valentine’s Day special edition. This one comes from The Varsity, October 2009.
The Ins and Outs of the Everything To Do With Sex Show By Will Sloan
“Do you mind if I mention my cause?” asks Elle Patille as I approach her for an interview. She is signing photos and posing for pictures at this year’s Everything To Do With Sex Show, dressed in knee-high leather boots and the tiniest...
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Ray Dennis Steckler’s Rat Pfink a Boo Boo (1966)
The underground/exploitation filmmaker Ray Dennis Steckler has earner a (tiny) cult following. I was going to explain why, but truth be told, I have no idea. Imagine Ed Wood, and then take away all the production value, character development, narrative coherence, and zesty dialogue, and you have Steckler.
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WatchIt’s time for another visit with WONDER EMPORIUM COMEDIAN-IN-RESIDENCE ANDY KAUFMAN. Today’s clip comes from The Midnight Special, and sees Andy leading a joyous rendition of “It’s a Small World After All.”
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It’s time for another exciting instalment of CRISWELL PREDICTS, wherein prominent 1950s/1960s L.A.-based psychic “The Amazing Criswell” offers a startling glimpse of future events that will after you… in the future! Predictions come from his 1968 book Criswell Predicts.
In today’s prediction, Criswell forsees the trajectory of John F. Kennedy’s political career!
“I predict...
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WatchJerry Lewis making a surprise appearance at a Dean Martin birthday concert in 1989.
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WatchIt’s time for another visit to the WONDER EMPORIUM TALENT SHOW, wherein a wide variety of singers, dancers, comedian, acrobats, contortionists, ventriloquists, and other performers from across the spectrum will give you an opportunity to see tomorrow’s stars today! Performances come from the classic New York City public-access show Stairway to Stardom.
Today, get ready for the dance stylings...
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WILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
By now, Manos: The Hands of Fate has surely replaced Plan 9 from Outer Space as the world’s official consensus choice for the worst movie of all time (although I do believe Bat Pussy is just a liiiiitle bit worse). The behind-the-scenes lore has practically become bad-movie-scripture: after El Paso fertilizer salesman Harold P....
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It’s time for another exciting instalment of DAVID LYNCH REPORTS THE WEATHER, wherein the visionary director of Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, and Mulholland Drive will inform you of how things are doing in Los Angeles, temperature-wise.
Today’s report comes from 10/09/2009.
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WatchTHE WONDER EMPORIUM DAWN-OF-CINEMA REVUE
Police Patrol Wagon (1897)
From the Edison catalog: “It dashes up just in time to gather in the crowd of rowdies that are fighting. The policemen hustle the toughs off to the station house.” Talk about ‘spoiler alert’ In a blatant case of false advertising, this Edison production has no dashing (at least as far as I can see), and...
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WatchWILL’S CINEMATIC HALL OF FAME
Allen Funt’s What Do You Say To A Naked Lady? (1970)
The first feature-film spin-off of Allen Funt’s proto-reality TV show Candid Camera, What Do You Say To A Naked Lady? is exactly what is sounds like: Candid Camera, with naked people. Believe it or not, some people are shocked to find themselves in the presence of a naked lady in public. Others try to act...
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